Braking a dream board is almost like breaking up with your girlfriend. You are super shattered at first. But then once you get another dream board, it’s all good.” – Shane Dorian
I heard that quote 11 years ago while watching Hit & Run, my first surf DVD. For some reason those words never left my mind. Everybody knows whenever you find a gem, it’s something you want to hold onto. So this is the story about my love affair with a 5’6” piece of foam over the summer of 2011.
When getting a custom board there is always a great deal of excitement. It’s almost like ordering a mail order bride. You might know the dimensions and the shape, but you don’t know what you’re in for until you see her with your own eyes. I reached into the box and pulled out my custom board marked, “For Thomas.” I checked her out from nose to tail and I liked what I saw. Once my hands touched her rails, I knew I was in love.
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, I shouldn’t have to explain that it’s flat in New Jersey in the summer time. With that knowledge, I decided to order my girl a little thicker and wider than my usual ladies. There’s nothing wrong with a little extra girth, and that’s what got me through the three months of gutless surf. She stepped up my performance in little waves by showing me some new tricks. Moments of ecstasy between the two of us were very common. I had a harem of surfboards but she was the only one I wanted to spend time with.
By the time fall came around we knew everything about each other. I would stand up on a wave and I know exactly what she was capable of. Whenever I fell, I put pressure dings somewhere on her body. I felt terrible, but she always forgave me for my mistakes. The waves began to change with the fall season. They were strong, powerful, and full of testosterone. Conditions were more comparable to bodybuilder while the summer was like a person suffering from malnutrition.
Hurricane Katia said hello to our shores and lit up the coast with waves. When the swell was diminishing, one of my favorite waves was perfect. Glassy lines rolled in, making conditions very playful. For a moment I questioned the break, since it’s considered more of a wintertime wave. I could have used a different board but I was so comfortable on my gem that I couldn’t let her sit this one out. At first I was very selective of what waves I took off on. This was my lady, and I was worried about her safety. I wasn’t surprised that she was handling whatever the ocean sent her way, so I just started taking off on anything. She felt so good under my feet. A wave came in was smaller and appeared harmless. I did a turn and felt the offshore wind hold me at the top of the wave. I felt helpless as I watched my lady spin around like a tornado six feet away from me. I had that terrible feeling in my stomach that something was wrong. When I came up for air, she was floating in two pieces. I swam over to her and carried her off the beach. It was too late to take her to the ding hospital. She would never be the same. I was heartbroken, it was over. The only thing I could do was look back on all the good times we had.
I’ve been alright the last few months. I met a couple of other boards to keep my mind off of her. I still think about her all the time. Thanks to computer shaping, I ordered a few clones. So I guess I’ll be jumping back into the world of polygamy very soon. I just hope one of them can cook
