Ambrose Bierce, the great American satirist, said that Quotation was the act of repeating erroneously the words of another. And while he may have a point, he definitely was no surfer.
For surfers are natural storytellers, and the sport’s quotes can be either a link to our past or a lesson for the future.
Or sometimes just some funny shit a surfer once said. In any case, here’s a list of some of surfing’s most famous quotes and a little bit of context on just why there are still being repeated.
1) “The best surfer out there is the one having the most fun.”
– Phil Edwards
The real quote was, “Surfing is for kicks, not crowds. It is for the individual neat it can bring. It is an all-grabbing, watery psychiatry in this over-organized world. To find the champion, you should hook them up with electrodes at all their vital points, take a reading, and find out who is having the most fun.”
This is a little clunky though, and with the abbreviated sentiment of the misquote remaining true, we’re sticking with it.
2) “Out of water, I am nothing.”
– Duke Kahanamoku
Of course he’s achievements out of the water were far from inconsequential and the quote is a more reflection of his modest nature.
He starred in several Hollywood films, saved numerous lives as a lifeguard, served as a military police officer and was a successful businessman. He is also the only surfer to have his own stamp.
3) “It’s a cakewalk, when you know how.”
– Gerry Lopez
It is not surprising that it this quote that has stuck to Lopez for 40 odd years, as no one has yet to surf Pipe with Lopez’ grace and style. It is also only Gerry that could deliver this line with a total absence of ego or arrogance.
4) “The fact is that when you are a young emerging rookie from Australia or South Africa you not only have to come through the backdoor… but you also have to bust that door down before they hear ya knocking.”
– Rabbit Bartholomew
Rabbit’s book Bustin’ Down the Door has the whole saga in complete detail, but for a more concise, and hilarious take, check out Comedy Central’s Drunk History titled the Aussie Invasion.
5) “My passion for surfing was more than my fear of sharks.”
– Bethany Hamilton
6) “It’s not tragic to die doing something you love.”
– Mark Foo
In reality Foo’s death at 36 years of age in 1994 is hard to describe in any other words than a tragedy. One of the world’s best ever big-wave riders was still at the peak of his powers when he died on his first wave at California’s Mavericks.
7) “I’m just a surfer who wanted to build something that would allow me to surf longer.”
– Jack O’Neill
8) “No problem is so big or so complicated that it can’t be run away from.”
– Miki Dora
9) “Waves are not measured in feet and inches, they are measured in increments of fear.”
– Buzzy Trent
He was surfing’s first ever big wave rider and it is this eloquent quote that still sums the attraction, be it as a participant or spectator, that surfing big waves provides.
10) “First of all, I’d like to say, and the ASP are going to fine me, ‘cuz I don’t want to be a part of this dumb fucking wannabe tennis tour. All these pro surfers want to be tennis players.”
– Bobby Martinez
And while the pro tour lost one of it’s smoothest surfers and most volatile characters, it also gained one of the best quotes about the commercialization of surfing.
You can only imagine what he had said if he had lost the heat.
11) “I could not help concluding this man had the most supreme pleasure while he was driven so fast and so smoothly by the sea.“
– Captain James Cook
12) “I took off on a wave, went down the side, popped out the other end, and went, shit, I’m still alive!”
– Greg Noll
13) “I could say, but I won’t say.”
– Michael Peterson
However it could actually be MP’s response to most questions, his battles with schizophrenia coupled with drug use meant he didn’t say much to anyone and he famously hid in the bushes at Bells after his win in 1975, rather than collect his winner’s cheque and talk to the crowd.
14) “Charlie don’t surf.”
– Lt Col William Kilgore
15) First of all, that was a really bad call for the comp. We waited like 10 days, we extended two days [to] get waves like this and I think K.P. [WSL Commissioner Kieren Perrow] didn’t do a really good job, but I hope he can get better. And second was the interference. One day I will try to understand this new rule. The third is, next time Glenn say ‘fuck you’ to me, I’ll teach him some…”
– Gabriel Medina
The outburst was generally considered to be either a rare honest, passionate opinion or the case of a spoil brat being unable to process a loss. Either way it was probably the most interesting thing that happened the whole event.
