When
I was introduced to surfing I was told it’s better than sex. Having
never surfed before I thought the guy telling me this was a total
madman. But after a few sessions borrowing his spare board and wettie, I
was hooked.
Six
years later I'm still a surf junkie, writing about why surfing is, in
fact (100% fact, possibly, maybe), better than sex. I suppose when he
reads this he'll be saying, “I told you so!”
1. Surfing lasts longer
Research
shows the average male lasts 14 minutes. How long do you usually surf
for? Most of us class a 45 minute session as short. And we've all pushed
through the 3-4 hour sessions when the surf's too good to pass up. All
in all, surfing lasts longer than sex. Not always. But nearly.
2. Surfing has more climaxes
Catching a wave is the climax of surfing. Sometimes you spend ages trying to find the right spot. You paddle to where you think you should be, you play there for a little bit, find you weren't quite there, adjust, finally get the peak, paddle hard, drop in and BAM. You're at one with the most beautiful thing on this earth. And you're in perfect ecstasy.
Now when it comes to surfing you can do that dozens of times a session. That's a lot of climaxing. Have you ever had that much success in the bedroom? If so you're very lucky. And superhuman.
Catching a wave is the climax of surfing. Sometimes you spend ages trying to find the right spot. You paddle to where you think you should be, you play there for a little bit, find you weren't quite there, adjust, finally get the peak, paddle hard, drop in and BAM. You're at one with the most beautiful thing on this earth. And you're in perfect ecstasy.
Now when it comes to surfing you can do that dozens of times a session. That's a lot of climaxing. Have you ever had that much success in the bedroom? If so you're very lucky. And superhuman.
3. Surfing comes with less strings attached
The only string in surfing is your leash. And that’s there for everyone's safety. It's a good string. Now don't get me wrong, there's a lot of love and emotion in surfing. Sometimes too much. You love your favourite board. You love your favourite break. When you leave your favourite break and put your board back in its sack after an amazing session you feel a deep longing to see them again very soon.
That same longing might be felt for your partner when you're missing them. But with surfing it’s different. Say you went to another break the next day and used a different board; you wouldn't upset anyone. If anything, the more spots you surf and the more boards you get experience on, the more your favourite break will reward you for knowing how it's done.
The
same concept is very unlikely when it comes to relationship etiquette.
All in all, your board, your break and the surf's love for you is
completely unconditional.
Though don’t expect your relationship with surfing to avoid rocky patches, frustrating days and breaking points.
4. Surfing solo is much more rewarding
You're in the water. Just you. The waves are epic. You catch one. Good times. You paddle back out. Still just you and the ocean.
It's
rare to have a break all to yourself, but sometimes it happens. When it
does you'll really appreciate the hassle-free solitude and all the
waves you can shake a stick at. It's a feeling like no other. The same
can't be said for a solo session in the bedroom. Unless, well, you're
rather weird.
5. Appearances don't matter in surfing
Let's
face it, you don't want to enter the bedroom looking like you've
forgotten your grooming regime for three months. It's a shallow world we
live in, but when it comes to sex, looks matter. In surfing, it
shouldn't, and usually doesn't matter at all.
Yeah,
the big brands use stunning pros and models to sell their products. But
we all see past that, don't we? I hope so. In the water, the only thing
that matters is how much fun everyone is having. Looks don't come into
it. Seawater will wipe your canvas clean anyway, forcing you to show
your natural beauty. It doesn't matter how you look, or how anyone else
looks. And if you find things like that mattering you might want to
rethink your surf ethic.
6. Safe surfing doesn't mean half the sensation
Part
of surfing is embracing danger and the unknown. Some people relish the
adrenaline of thinking this sketchy, gigantic session might be their
last. But more people have more fun with a safe surf.
When
it's 2-3ft, clean and peeling with an easy paddle on a lifeguarded
beach, you don't suddenly feel like you've been robbed of the real
thing. You have as good a surf as ever. Safe surfing is as sensational
as the dangerous sessions, it’s just different. Safe sex on the other
hand leaves many disappointed. But it has to be done.
