When I started surfing back in the early ‘70s the last thing you wanted was to have your parents come to the beach with you. It was the most uncool thing imaginable. Surfing was something you did in part to get away from your parents and to forge your own identity. I know I wasn't alone with this feeling because every one of my mates was the same, and everyone around us was the same. Parents just weren't cool, especially when it came to your surfing and creating your place within your peer group at the beach.
Things have changed dramatically. Today surfing truly is a family sport and it's commonplace to see the whole family hitting the surf together; mum, dad, sons and daughters all enjoying the beauty of this great pastime. At my annual grommet surfing event - BL's Blast Off - this family spirit is on total display. I created the event to bring families together during school holidays, to build community spirit and for us all to share in the development of Australian surfing.
At Blast Off we spend a lot of time convincing everyone that the event is not about winning and losing but about development and family fun. We rarely have issues with overzealous parents taking their kid's surfing too seriously. That's not to say, however, that I haven't heard of parents taking something that should be fun and turning it into their own private crusade, trying to chase some unfulfilled childhood dream.
I believe that surfing is one of the greatest gifts a parent can give to their children. It's physical, and it gets them exercising in a fun and educational way. It gives them the opportunity to interact with and appreciate the natural environment, and it introduces them to a lifelong commitment to the ocean, health and to themselves.
For me having the whole family involved in the child's surfing is a great thing, and the only problem I see is when the parents take it all too seriously. Most of the time it comes down to the parent living out their dreams through their child, and this puts unfair pressure on the kid who really wants their parents' love and approval and will do anything to satisfy them. If they fail, the feelings and emotions they experience are exaggerated because of the parents' expectations. That's just not fair. I think it's important for parents to allow the child enough room to learn for themselves, to make their own mistakes, let the kid establish their own identity and create a sense of responsibility as an individual.
One of the definite upsides of the increase in parental involvement in young peoples' surfing is, and will continue to be, the development of healthy, balanced young surfers with hardly any of the old school burnout that we saw effect so many talented young guys in surfing's early days. There are way too many stories of young kids who where influenced by people who didn't really care about them and they made the wrong decisions, got involved in partying, drugs, alcohol and all the negative trappings of professional sport. In the end they failed themselves, sponsors and families.
Back in my day there were surfers who had more talent than me but they didn't have the discipline, determination and control that I had. I saw so many great surfers fuck up and give up on their dreams and just surrender to the temptations. This may never had happened if their parents were around when they were kids.
I don't see this burnout happening anywhere near as much these days as it did a decade or so ago, and I reckon its because of the involvement of parents and family in the life's of tomorrow's champions. The opportunity to have your parents by your side as you embark on a journey/career in surfing is an invaluable asset, and if the parents can maintain perspective and be there just to support the kid there is really no downside; it's all up. That's what I see everyday with my coaching and interacting with parents and their kids.
There is nothing better than the whole family getting to share in the same passion, and have that bond through surfing. There are always going to be kids who mess up and make the wrong decisions, but it's great to see less kids getting hurt. Thanks goes out to all the parents for being involved in their kids' lives.
Keep the surfing fun until the school is done.
